What is Narcissistic Abuse?
...how to manage it and heal from it
Narcissistic abuse can leave deep emotional scars, erode confidence and trust as well as our sense of reality. Manipulation, gaslighting and control are typical hallmarks, leaving victims feeling trapped, exhausted and terrorised. Managing abuse begins with recognising the signs, setting boundaries, prioritising self care and seeking support from family and professionals. We heal by rebuilding self worth, resilience and addressing trauma responses so we are able to craft healthier relationships.
What is narcissistic abuse?
Being intimately involved with a narcissist wrecks havoc in relationships. A narcissistic partner’s constant need to be the centre of attention, lack of empathy, and need to control can create a one-sided dynamic where we may feel neglected, manipulated, or emotionally trapped. Our feelings may be dismissed, and you might be blamed for every problem in the relationship. Tactics such as gaslighting, emotional manipulation, and shifting responsibility are often used to maintain control. In some cases, this dynamic can escalate to violence. This leads to feelings of invalidation, as though we’re constantly walking on eggshells to avoid conflict. Narcissistic abuse often erodes self-esteem, fosters emotional dependency, and undermines our ability to trust your intuition. We may feel overwhelmed, confused, depressed trauma and even PTSD. This dependency and confusion may make it increasingly difficult for us to leave the relationship.
What is narcissism?
The word narcissist is used very liberally these days, to the point it loses its meaning. Unfortunately, this can diminish awareness of the true devastation caused by narcissistic abuse. For those in high-conflictual, coercive relationships with a narcissist, the experience can feel volatile, precarious, and deeply isolating. Navigating this dynamic is challenging, and it often feels like you’re playing by a set of ever-changing rules.
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Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is recognised personality disorder characterised by an inflated sense of self-importance, an intense need for admiration and a lack of empathy or concern for others. Narcissists typically seek constant validation, struggle with criticism and have difficulty maintaining healthy, balanced relationships.
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At the lower end of the spectrum, This is a spectrum disorder. At the lower end of the spectrum traits, such confidence, ambition, and self-interest may be viewed as healthy and even celebrated in the West.
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At the higher end of the spectrum, narcissists can become exploitative, volatile manipulative and cruel. they may use psychological tactics, such as gaslighting to confuse and overwhelm their victim.
Tips to help navigate narcissistic abuse
Set Firm Boundaries
There is limited chance to negotiate. Ignore inflammatory remarks
Keep Things Simple
When negotiating, be concise and focus on one topic at a time.
Mirror No Emotion
The Grey Rock method is to be as boring as possible to reduce interest
Keep friends close
Keep contact going with friends and family - don't let them all go.
Avoid Power Struggles
Fighting energises narcissists. So be non-reactive when engaging.
Prioritise Self Care
Keep believing in you. Get therapy to build your mental health.
Need help with panic attacks?
TOP TIP
Having a relationship with a high-coercive narcissist or as an ex-partner, can often lead to mental health issues, including anxiety disorders and panic attack. Manipulation, control and gaslighting tactics can make us feel we are going mad. Our body may react as if we are living in a war zone. We can feel that we will never be free. Listen to my Panic Audio when you are having a panic attack to help yourself keep things together. Remember, everything passes.
Is it safe to leave a narcissist?
Leaving a narcissist can be incredibly challenging. The emotional manipulation, lies and unpredictability often make it a confusing and overwhelming time. For those in high-coercive relationships, leaving can also be dangerous, especially if children are involved. Violence is a possibility, and it is crucial to plan this step carefully with trusted friends, family, or professionals.
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When you leave a narcissist, managing your expectations is essential. After a divorce, contact between both parents often continues, as family courts in England & Wales generally uphold the principle of shared parental responsibility, unless there is clear evidence of abuse. However, the court process is not always equipped to identify or address patterns of abuse. It is possible that in situations of high coercive abuse, the perpetrator remains hidden. Navigating this dynamic requires clear boundaries as well as careful navigation and planning.
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Having a mentor or support system by your side is invaluable. Whether it’s helping you avoid communication pitfalls, supporting you through child contact arrangements, interpreting legal jargon or assisting with general life management, professional guidance can make a significant difference. My role is to help you prioritize your well-being, stay safe and rebuild your confidence as you navigate this complex process.
How can I heal from
narcissistic abuse
Break cycle of abuse
Without healing we may find we may attract similar partners. Healing breaks this cycle.
Personal
Validation
Gaslighting means we can doubt our reality. We heal by releasing suppressed emotions
Reclaim Independence
Recovery helps us regain autonomy, independence and trust our instincts again.
Healthy
Boundaries
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Restores
Trust
Healing helps us discern helathy relationshp and build trust safely
Restore
Self Worth
Healing helps us rebuild confidence and recognise our inherent value.